This week’s tiny sparks: pathways to understanding part deux.
In our last tiny spark newsletter, I talked about how we can track ourselves to understand what is going on in our minds, bodies, emotions, and lives.
To recap: there are four pathways to understanding ourselves. We learned about two of these together last time: meaning and image.
Meaning is the narrative we create out of our experiences; it’s our thoughts, but more specifically the story we tell ourselves. Our brain is constantly making meaning out of everything that happens and meaning is one pathway or one way that we understand ourselves. Observing the meaning that we make can be a powerful tool to bring more awareness to our lives. Noticing glimmers, for example, can bring meaning into our day.
On a side note, I am loving connecting on my Instagram stories and hearing your glimmers of the day (#gotd), and sharing my own.
An image is an internal creation based on external experiences or other sensory experiences. Imagining something in our mind’s eye can invoke a similar (if not as strong) experience as if it were actually happening in front of us. Imagery can also stimulate other body or emotional experiences to help us increase relaxation, be more mindful, and find our resilience.
Being able to track ourselves allows us to see where we are on the window of tolerance. Knowing ourselves and tracking ourselves in this way gives us access to greater regulation and resilience (with practice, of course)! Remember, as you go through and practice each of the pathways, you might find that one or more seem more difficult or easier than others. That is totally normal!
With practice, it becomes easier to access each of the four pathways to better understand yourself and put into practice activities that increase your resilience and regulation. Perhaps after last week’s newsletter, you are feeling that your meaning pathway is stronger than your image. Or maybe it’s the opposite. I want to encourage you to keep practicing those two, even as we learn about two new ones today: emotion and sensation.
Emotion
The third pathway to understanding is emotion. This, like meaning, is a pathway that is often more familiar to us.
We learn to track emotions through modeling and reflecting as children. When we break our favorite toy as a child and our caregiver says to us, “oh, you’re angry and sad, of course you are! I would be, too, if I broke my favorite thing” you learn two things. One, is that what is happening in your body and mind is a thing, an emotion, called anger and sadness.
And, two, that it’s ok to feel that way. If your caregiver instead demands you to stop crying or sends you to your room until you get over it, you don’t learn what the emotions are that you’re experiencing but instead, that feeling is bad and makes you get sent away.
Emotions are an important part of our experience that gives us insight into how a particular situation makes us feel. They allow us to connect to others and ourselves, make decisions about what we want in our lives, motivate us to make changes, and more. You may need practice to connect more with your own emotions and feel safe feeling them, but it is possible to model for yourself what you didn’t receive as a child!
The ability to feel emotions can also be impacted by stress, past trauma, or other learned patterns of relating to our feelings. Emotions can also become muddled; for example, anxiety and excitement run similar pathways in our bodies, so we may feel excited but confuse it for anxiety and become upset. The ability to stay present with our emotions and notice the nuances are important to our resilience and wellness.
Many of us might use emojis as we text. I know I do! As a quick exercise, take a look at the emojis below. Check-in with your body for a moment. If you had to pick one or two to describe your emotions and how you feel at this juncture, what would they be? How do you know?
I’d like to invite you to pause throughout your day and ask yourself how you’re feeling/what emotion you are feeling. A great reminder to do this might be when you compose a text and use an emoji.
Sensation
The fourth pathway to understanding is sensation. This is our felt sense experience inside of our body. Our nervous system and our body are very closely interrelated with our thoughts. Sensations offer us clues into what is happening. Perhaps you’ve heard or used the phrase “gut instinct” or “butterflies in your stomach,” those come from being in tune with sensations. The more present and connected we are to what’s happening in our body, the more mindful and resilient we can be, and the more we can understand ourselves.
Sensations come from our interoceptive system. The interoceptive system is basically saying, “what is my body feeling inside?” You can think of an interoceptive system like a volume button. Some people might have that volume cranked up, and they are noticing every little twinge in their body. Others, for a variety of reasons, may have that volume turned very low, and they might have a difficult time tuning into their body and noticing sensations. Neither volume position is better or worse; we know that you can gain the capacity to track what’s happening in your body.
Let’s practice! Follow the steps below to see what sensations you notice. For example, as I do this, I’m noticing that I feel some tension in my neck and jaw. My hands and legs feel warm and soft. If you’re not noticing sensations in your body, grab an object nearby and see what you notice about that/what sensations come up.
My challenge to you is to spend some (more) time getting to know yourself through your pathways. Perhaps you want to first focus on the two new pathways we talked about today. Maybe you want to explore all of the pathways. In the graphic below, try choosing one question to answer in a day. Maybe you write it on a post-it note and put it on your mirror. Maybe you open up this newsletter while you’re drying your hair and pick a question to ponder. However you decide to explore your pathways, I wish you well!
Feel free to join me on Tiktok, Instagram, or Youtube where I share my thoughts, and you’re welcome to share your insights too. I would love to hear about the progress you’ve made on your journey into understanding your pathways (or the challenges you’re facing…because that’s real life too)!
Sending tiny sparks of wellness your way,
Trisha
~Here’s a video on my TikTok where I’m exploring trying to enjoy my life rather than improve my life.
~ I’m currently in Northern Michigan where the cherries are plentiful! I made some jam recently, and I’ve been loving it on all types of bread. This is the recipe I used from Nourished by Caroline.
~ I saw this post from Morgan Harper Nichols via The Storyteller Co. on Instagram. It is a great reminder to practice using one of the pathways to understanding. Any guesses on which pathway?!
I think I've become too heavy in the Meaning making! I ruminate on stories/worries, keeping me from getting good quality sleep and ease in general. I make up so many stories (outloud) about others in my life it is as though I am a fiction book writer. Do you know any one writing about the empty nest phenomena for moms who "stayed home" for a long time? I have a hunch this transition of letting go of children's lives and refocusing on oneself is a universal experience of loss, confusion and self doubt! Thanks for your great articles.